John McCain:Illegal Alien?

This 1986 photo of senators Joe Lieberman
and John McCain lends credence to the Karl
Rove accusations.


The Hippocrat Party has come in contact with secret Rovian sources that purportedly report that Senator John McCain is being 'blackmailed' into playing a 'Barney Fife' role in the upcoming presidential election.

According to the sources that were seen but not copied,Karl Rove stated that,"The only way John McCain can possibly win this election is by following the 'Mayberry Plan' to the letter."

The mythical,'Mayberry Plan' is said to be a mathematical calculation invented by Karl Rove that doubles the chances of any politician getting elected.Equations beyond our comprehension at the Hippocrat party seem to state that if said candidate follows the 'Character Rule'[George W.Bush became the character known as 'Goober'] of the 'Mayberry Plan,percentage points run 50% higher than if a candidate ran on his/her own identity alone.

Maverick candidate John McCain was said to be strongly against the Mayberry/Barney Fife plan.He was quoted as saying that,"It's just plan stupid."

But according to the documents that we glanced through,this course of action did not sit well with the power broker,Karl Rove's,team.Scribblings seem to indicate that Mr.Rove 'had an ace up his sleeve':John McCain may not be a 'Natural Born Citizen Of The United States '.

This is important because:Section 1 of Article II of the Constitution contains this clause: "No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President" And John McCain-according to these Rovian documents-is possibly not in accordance with this clause.

Karl Rove-again,in our unsubstantiated report-states,"I personally see no substance in this claim whatsoever,but innuendo knows nothing of fact.If John wants to be elected,he will have to play ball."

The basis of this innuendo is the fact that John McCain was only born on 'American soil ' after the fact....In fact,only retroactively.Read this from Wikipedia:

John McCain was born at the Coco Solo U.S. military base in the Panama Canal Zone to U.S. parents. Although the Panama Canal Zone was not considered to be part of the United States,[5] federal law states that "Any person born in the Canal Zone on or after February 26, 1904, and whether before or after the effective date of this chapter, whose father or mother or both at the time of the birth of such person was or is a citizen of the United States, is declared to be a citizen of the United States".[6] The law that conferred this status took effect on August 4, 1937, one year after John McCain was born — albeit with retrospective effect, resulting in McCain being declared a U.S. citizen.[7] However, the question as to whether or not he is a citizen from birth cannot be answered by this law because it took effect after his birth.

Our source further states that Karl Rove then said,"Yeah,Johnny boy played ball real quickly after that."

Though The Hippocrat Party can in no way substantiate our claims on these charges,events of the past few days{ nominating Sara Palin;Sara's 17 year old daughter,Bristol,announcing that she is five months pregnant and out of wedlock} seems to indicate that Senator McCain has become quite accustomed to shooting himself in the foot Barney Fife style.